10 Things We Think About Your Penis

Men are obsessed with their penises.  Apparently there is even something known as the  boner test.  I’m amused with the attention that men give to their “little guys” so after having a good laugh, I decided to share my opinions on this phenomenon known as the boner.  Or pecker.  Or wood, Johnson, schlong, or in the tech world, the dongle.

10 Things We Think About Your Penis:

  1. Contrary to popular belief, women don’t hate the penis.  We aren’t repulsed by its look or smell.  In fact, most normal healthy women are drawn to it.
  2. We don’t require that you have one the size of Texas.  However, if you haven’t a clue what to do with it, length and/or girth helps.
  3. We DO NOT think its cute when you stand naked in front of us and swing it right to left in what can only be described as a man seizure.  It looks silly all flaccid and flopping around like that.
  4. Speedos look ridiculous on any man, especially pink ones, even on Olympic swimmers.  Also, there is nothing more homosexual than a man wearing a thong.
  5. Men may appreciate a camel toe.  The moose knuckle grosses us out.
  6. If you cant keep your little pal contained within the confines of your shorts, we immediately assume you’re a homosexual.
  7. There is nothing more sexy than a man wearing a well fitted pear of jeans or slacks.  Not too tight, not too loose or sagging.  Give us something to wonder about. And we do wonder about it.
  8. If after revealing your goods to us for the first time we appear to be examining it, we are.  We are fascinated by it and what it can do.
  9. If women are joking about going mushroom hunting, they probably aren’t talking about gathering morels.
  10. The bottom line guys, is keep it clean—especially if you’re uncircumcised.

And all this time you men thought we held all the sexual power.  The next time you go to beat it like it owes you money, look down at your buddy and tell him not to worry.  We are going to love him almost as much as you do!

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