Speaking for myself, because we are all so different from each other, I am rarely able to stay interested in a man who only has one really great quality and nothing else going for him. The two things that are most important to me are character, and what he is good at (so long as it’s legal lol). For me, sometimes his “utility” isn’t even something I could use such as a guy who can fix a car, or unplug a drain, or lift heavy things. All those things are nice, but when I think of “utility” I think of whatever the guy is good at that serves some purpose other than himself. Musical talent, knowledge (smart guys are so sexy), ability to write interesting things, or some other hobby that he really pours himself into.
I’m not sure if I’ve shared this before, but there was one guy, the one who got away. Really though, he was never mine, but oh how I had hoped that one day he would be. He was a subordinate of my father’s for a while. About 6 or 7 years older than me. He was tall, had shaggy blond hair, skinny, and had one crossed eye. LOL! I never knew which eye to look into. Think Steve Buscemi with a lazy eye.
This guy was so amazingly smart (an aerospace engineer) and just starting out his career. He played mainly trumpet, but also many other instruments including all brass, guitar, and banjo. He could draw portraits of people that almost looked like photos. He drew my father’s portrait in pencil during one of their extended meetings that just blew my mind. He liked to hunt (big game), fish, etc. He was funny as hell too. He shared my love for Monty Python and could recite many of their skits from memory. He was shy with women and not well versed in social interactions.
Dear Lord this guy just did it for me.
Unfortunately he didn’t know I was alive. He ended up marrying this hypergamous, slutty, bitch who used him until she had a kid with him, then moved on. They divorced a few years after I left the state we were all living in at the time. Last I talked to him was about 13 years ago.
My point in sharing this is that for some women, even with oddly attractive men who are otherwise awkward looking or acting, there really are women out there who will find them alluring. If only the girl had the guts to let him know. If only the guy had the courage to approach.
If there is one lesson that I agree with regarding “game” is that guys just have to approach women. Not in a creepy way, but you never know when a woman you never would have dreamed of will say yes to you.
The thing with this guy was, I got to know him slowly over a long period of time. I observed him from a safe distance. Not all will have the luxury of getting to know someone this way. He never even knew I had a crush on him. If he only knew…
So for me, the guy has to have good character, then also be good at something. If he doesn’t have good character, he will never get his foot in the door. If he does, he gets in. Being good at something will keep him there. At least for me.
Perhaps other women will share their perspectives too.