Its true that men can act like bitches too. “You’re such a little bitch!” Women however, can be HUGE bitches, and that deviation in terminology is for a reason. We’ve perfected the art of being bitches. Is that a good thing for ladies though? No. No its not.
Below are ten easy steps on how not to be a HUGE bitch. If you follow them, you will not only find your man liking you a lot more, but you may even like yourself a lot better too.
1. Wait at least 15 but preferably 30 minutes after he gets home before you confront him about what’s been stewing in your head all day
No man wants to come home to a wicked, evil shrew. He’s probably had a long day. There’s no telling how many other bitchy women he’s had to deal with all day. Your home should be a place of solace. I know you’re probably mad that he didn’t take the trash out. He’s left his socks on the floor, and refuses to pick up his dirty underwear and place them actually INTO the hamper and not right beside it. The kids have been acting up. The burner in the oven is out. Whatever it is, just wait… Let him sit down for a bit. Give him some affection before you unload all your frustrations onto him. You will find yourself feeling much calmer yourself if you can just control your urge to unleash your inner beast on him the second he walks in the door.
2. Don’t raise your voice
He can hear you ladies. You don’t need to shout. Yelling is the easiest way to get him to NOT listen to you. If right from the beginning you are screaming like a banshee, he will more than likely tune you out. Plus, if your usual and customary style is to always scream about everything, when something really important comes along that you actually really NEED to scream about, he’s probably going to ignore you. “HELP! INTRUDER!” “Aww hell she’s probably just bitching about something again.”
3. Be mindful of your facial expressions
I don’t know any man who wants to come home to THAT!
4. Control your body language
Flailing your arms may frighten him. Rotating your head on its axis is just plain obnoxious. Stomping your feet looks childish. Crossing your arms makes you look as though no matter what he has to say, you aren’t going to listen to him.
5. Actually listen to what he’s saying
When he’s talking, don’t be already thinking of how you are going to respond back. You will probably miss some important information if you aren’t concentrating on what HE is saying while your rebuttal is already being formed. After years of being with him you may think you can read his mind. Maybe you can, but don’t rely on this all the time. Listen to his every word. Don’t be so dismissive of what he has to say.
6. Think about what you’re saying before you say it
That little voice inside your head is dying to get out. Don’t let it out unless you’ve actually approved what it wants to say. Our emotional brains will at times lead us in the wrong direction. Be thoughtful, not emotional, when interacting with your man. Ladies choose their words carefully.
7. Don’t interrupt when he’s talking
This goes along with #5. When you first started dating each other, wasn’t it cute that you could complete each other’s sentences? After romanticism fades, and real and serious issues arise, putting words into his mouth can lead to misunderstanding. Let him finish! Don’t interrupt. Even the last few words of his sentence are important. Don’t cut them off.
8. Repeat what you heard him say
Sometimes we hear things differently than what and how he’s trying to express it. Other times he’s unable to concisely explain what he wants to say. Words can get convoluted. If after you’ve listened calmly to what he’s tried to say and you still don’t understand (or maybe you do and you’re feeling very pissed off about it), repeat back to him what you understood him to be saying. Paraphrasing is o.k. so long as you preface it with something like: “So do you mean that….”
9. Try to see things from his point of view
I know its hard because we’re women, but put yourself in his shoes. If nothing else it will give you enough pause to control any anger or spite you’re currently feeling. Being understanding, or at least trying to understand him is what ladies do.
10. Don’t storm off
Turning around and bolting out of the room, with hair flipping, arms flailing, feet stomping is you being a bitch. If you storm off, you lose. Ladies aren’t losers. Men want ladies. Stay and listen. Give the conversation a chance. Demonstrate noble self control, but never turn and walk away.
If you can follow these 10 simple steps to not being a bitch – the world, your family, perhaps even your work place will be a better place.