Women need to be even more careful today than ever before when selecting a man as a mate. The damage feminists have done to men has caused far too many otherwise good men to become disgusting, psychopathic abusers. Women need to educate themselves so that they aren’t caught up in a situation they can’t get out of alive. Yes, these types of men existed before feminism, but they are even more prevalent today than ever before.
There is a certain element of society which is far more dangerous to a woman than a mere PUA. PUA’s like to bang girls, then move on to the next. There are plenty of women out there ready and willing to service them, so the women who fall for their game deserve what they get. PUA’s are for the most part harmless. The type of man I’m addressing in this article is the dangerous abuser. Its hard sometimes to know if the man you just started dating falls within this group of men. There have been many things written about the subject, but I will attempt to summarize what to look for in this article. This information may very well save your life.
Part of what makes it harder for many women who want to enjoy a traditional life with traditional gender roles is that in this kind of lifestyle, the women is expected to be submissive to her man. This in and of itself is not a bad thing. A traditional gender role for a woman would be for her to be a stay at home wife and mom, and to allow the man to make all the decisions about the household. The problem with this scenario is that there are many men out there who will take advantage of their role and use it to not love, guide, and protect his wife and kids, but to turn them into his subjects. The house becomes a jail, and the wife eventually becomes an insecure, frightened, battered, and in many cases sexually abused woman.
When you first start dating him, he may seem like a dashing, confident, powerful man. He may even perform acts of chivalry initially. Slowly but surely he will begin showing his true self to you – so subtly that you may not be able to recognize what’s happened until you have moved in with him, and he’s turned you into a shadow of your former self. The grooming process is subtle at first, but as the relationship progresses, so does the degradation.
The following signs are ones that most every source I read agreed on:
- He is of the sort that brags a lot about himself or his achievements; is a narcissist. You notice him often criticizing other males.
- He looks for a woman who has low self esteem or lack of confidence. They are more pliable and easy to manipulate.
- He moves the relationship along fast. He wants to bed you, and have you move in right away. Abusers know they can’t maintain decent behavior for very long. They need to hook you in before you know what’s happened.
- He initially is very complimentary towards you, showering you with praise, and agrees with everything you say.
- He removes all control of all finances from you all the time.
- He engages in forms of humiliation be it sexual, calling you names, blames you for things you didn’t do, and tries to shame you.
- He isolates you from your family and friends. He removes all your support systems.
- He threatens and intimidates you. At the slightest provocation, and after he has you completely dependent on him, he threatens to leave you alone, and out on the streets.
- He denies his own behavior and projects it back on to you. He blames you for his hitting you and says you deserved it, or made him do it.
- He invades your personal boundaries and space. He uses humiliating sexual practices to make you do things you normally wouldn’t. Your body no longer belongs to you. It belongs to him, and he can use it any way he pleases, not only for his own pleasure, but to make you submit to humiliation.
- He is accusatory. He accuses you of having affairs with any man, anywhere you go.
- He makes rules, but then changes them at will. You keep trying to please him, but he keeps raising the bar of his expectations. If you don’t meet his expectations, he ridicules you.
- He keeps you in a constant state of confusion. He goes from shaming you, criticizing you, and humiliation tactics, to giving moderate praise, most of the time out of the blue, when you haven’t even done anything exceptional. This keeps you off balance and confused.
- He is always in complete control of himself when in the presence of others. He is the type of guy that other men love – and even most women. No one else but you sees the monster in him.
- He speaks negatively about most women, and all of his past relationships. He’s never had a good relationship with a female.
There are more things that could probably be added to this list, but I suggest you do your own research. A few good articles will be linked at the bottom. The main thing is, women need to understand the difference between a strong male who is able to fill the role of a traditional patriarch, as opposed to an abusive man who doesn’t want a wife or companion in life. The abuser wants a subject to degrade and humiliate for his own pleasure. Its a fine line between the two, sometimes almost seemingly impossible to discern. You can’t automatically assume that if a man is a Christian, he will be a good man either. Many Christian men out there, especially on the internet, seem to have the words of the bible confused with the words of PUA’s. Some of them equate the teachings of PUA’s with what can be found in the bible. So if you find yourself in the company of a man who claims to be a Christian, but then champions the PUA rules of game, you know right from the start he isn’t a keeper.
Be safe ladies. Be smart. Stay far far away from men who seek to do nothing but control you. Know the difference, and you will eventually find a truly good man who will love, respect, and protect you.