When Men Hit The Wall And How Women Can Help Them Through It

I will preface this article with: not all men will hit their wall at the same time as others. However, all men do hit a “wall’ so to speak, and when they do it can be devastating for them and those who love them.  Women, due to their emotional and contemplative nature, are often more prepared for the process of aging than men.  Our “change” happens more quickly than it does in men.  In most cases (with exceptions of course) we are able to handle the changes our bodies are going through with humor and resolve.  Men however will attempt to fight this inevitable process, deny it’s even occurring, and may become a challenge to be around.  So, as it stands now it’s up to us to help the men in our lives through this potentially very difficult time in their lives.

Men’s sexual function declines as they age as said here:

As his testosterone level falls, it takes more to arouse him. Once aroused, he takes longer to get an erection and to achieve orgasm and, following orgasm, to become aroused again. Age brings marked declines in semen volume and sperm quality. Erectile dysfunction (ED), or impotence, is clearly linked to advancing years; studies show that between the ages of 40 and 70, the percentage of potent men falls from 60% to roughly 30%.

It’s a fact of life that testosterone levels fall in most if not all men as they age.  It’s no wonder then, that the testosterone peddling industry has become so popular.  If men never “hit their wall” then there wouldn’t be so many testosterone vendors in business, nor so many men seeking to purchase it.  Also, both men and women are living longer, and are wanting to remain sexually active longer.  When women reach the time in their lives when there is no fear of pregnancy, and sex is something done for purely for the love of a partner, or just for fun and pleasure, men are grappling with declining testosterone levels.  This causes not only sexual dysfunction in men, but emotional stress and anxiety as well.

Although men don’t reach their sexual performance peak until later in life, they do reach their testosterone peak at around age 18.  This doesn’t mean it’s all down hill for men after age 18, it just means that most men learn better technique later on in life to compensate for lack of testosterone production.  Take a look at the following table describing testosterone levels in men (and women too) by age:

After age 30, men’s main sex hormone declines about 1% a year.  This can lead to sexual dysfunction or ED (erectile dysfunction).  Decreased testosterone levels as men age can also cause sleep pattern problems, depression, physical changes including increase in body fat, reduced muscle mass, and lack of energy.  As said here, changes in a man’s penis may also take place:

In addition to this apparent shrinkage (which is reversible) the penis tends to undergo an actual (and irreversible) reduction in size. The reduction — in both length and thickness — typically isn’t dramatic but may be noticeable. “If a man’s erect penis is 6 inches long when he is in his 30s, it might be 5 or 5-and-a-half inches when he reaches his 60s or 70s,” Goldstein says.

What causes the penis to shrink? At least two mechanisms are involved. One is the slow deposit of fatty substances (plaques) inside tiny arteries in the penis, which impairs blood flow to the organ. This process, known as atherosclerosis, is the same one that contributes to blockages inside the coronary arteries — a leading cause of heart attack.

Men don’t need to worry so much about this, as women, at least well adjusted women, won’t leave their men merely because of their falling testosterone levels.  Women aren’t as repelled by older men as older men are by older women.  It more than likely has something to do with, again as I said earlier, women’s emotional and contemplative nature.  We form and maintain bonds differently.  In other words, as women age, they don’t necessarily pass the same kind of judgement on older men, and accept the aging process as natural, and inevitable.  This may also explain, at least in part, why younger women may still find themselves attracted to older men.  They are able to see more qualities in a man than merely their sexual virility, musculature, or other purely physical attributes.

Men however seem to have a difficult time dealing with the changes going on in their bodies, and often resort to having affairs to prove they are still the men they were when they were in their 20’s and 30’s.  This in part contributes to extraordinarily high divorce rates.

Andropause is a reality, and can be debilitating for a man to go through, and accept.  We as women can, have, and should continue to ease our men into the later aspects of their lives without subjecting them to the same ridicule and disrespect towards women that is so commonly seen on websites all over the internet.  Our acceptance of older men is not only shown in our ability to appreciate men as they become older even when we are still young women, but in our ability to stay with them in a loving marriage – as we “grow old together.”

Of course there are women out there who will bolt at the slightest loss of virility in their men.  Then again, there are women out there who could care less about what a man can do in bed, and instead focus on a man’s ability to keep them in fancy clothing, cars, and houses.  These are not good women.  Don’t be among them ladies.  You never know how hard karma will come back and bite your money makers dear girls.  Men have become wise to your hypergamous ways.  So don’t think that your perfect tits and ass will land you a rich man forever.  Sometimes men really do just want a good woman who loves them, and wants to spend the rest of their lives with them, through sickness and health, richer or poorer, for better or worse.

If you notice that your man has become less able to perform sexually for you, the worst thing you can do is criticize or be impatient with him.  There are treatments out there.  Just as your breasts change, your skin becomes more wrinkled, and a little bit of belly fat arrives, men go through an aging process of their own.  Complaining that they can’t get it up, or can’t keep it up will only make them insecure, and then possibly even angry.  Declining sex hormone levels in men can cause depression as well so you should expect some behavior changes.  Talk to your man.  Try to understand things from his perspective because aging can be extremely difficult for men to go through whether they admit to it or not.

Also consider that as your own body changes, many men may not be as attracted to you as you become the dreaded “older” woman.  If you love each other, you will find a way to make love in a way that satisfies both of you.  It may take longer.  It may make you both laugh out loud at each other and how, that although you are both trying your best to get into that position you could perform when you were in your 20’s or 30’s, you just can’t achieve it now.

The key is patience, understanding, creativity, and humor.  There really is something to that old cliché “Live, Love, and Laugh.”  If you can’t do those things later on in life, you may just end up bored, lonely, and sullen.

Be good to one and other.

Leave a Reply

Your email address will not be published. Required fields are marked *